Grandma's Potato Salad

 We went on a vacation. We came home. I am depressed.

I know, you probably can't believe that I would be depressed to be home. I mean, my home is paradise, right? But, Gramps and Beanie's cottage on the beach is literally the best place on earth. We spent the Fourth of July on the sand, making s'mores and playing guitars around a campfire with my all my crazyawesome relatives while we watched the fireworks. We jet-skiied, swam, tanned, cuddled with little cousins, and ate. Oh man, did we eat.

Look at me jet-skiing! I'm a blur of awesome!

Beanie, my mom's mom, is the best. She loves when I come see her because she can rip any picture of food out of a magazine and I will make it for her. Take this cake for instance.

Beautiful, but hard to cut. Don't try it at home folks.

And then I made Oreo dessert...

... in the lid of the pan. Would anybody but me do this? I mean, really. How dumb to I have to be? Oh, and that Halloween bowl that snuck into the picture is full of cheetos and m&ms, in case you were wondering. I had no part in that adventure. Thankfully.

Anyways, when I suggest making Grandma H.'s potato salad, it's unbelievable how many stray, forgotten jars of pickles Beanie can pull out of the corners of the fridge. Everybody knows and loves Grandma H.'s famous potato salad. And I am the only one who knows how to make it. I feel like the bearer of some kind of state secret.

I don't like keeping secrets.

When you're making potato salad Grandma H. style, there are two things to keep in mind.

1. Cut everything small and evenly. This is where Grandma's OCD pays off. In Grandma's potato salad, you get a little piece of everything in each bite. And everything is sliced perfectly. It's a beautiful sight to behold. I don't think I will ever quite master it. 
2.  Pickles are your friends. Dill pickles in this case. Do not be afraid to use too many. I literally have this obsession with pickles. Every night at about midnight I line up all the jars of pickles I can find; baby dill, whole dill, bread and butter chips, Claussen dill spears, etc. Then I have a feast. Is this normal behavior? Don't answer that.  

Grandma's Potato Salad

6 cups of potatoes (I used red so I wouldn't have to peel them) cut into 1 inch cubes
8 eggs
A small jar of baby dill pickles (or more)
6 big stalks of celery
1/2 of a white onion
2 1/2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
2 tablespoons mustard
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Start a pot of water boiling. Once it's boiling, dump in the eggs and potatoes. Set the timer for 12 minutes.
Meanwhile, cut up the pickles. Cut them into quarters long ways and then into thin slices. Cut the celery the same way so that the celery and pickle slices are basically even. Chop up the onion well.
Once the eggs and potatoes have been boiling for 12 minutes, check the potatoes with a fork. If they're soft, then drain them. I put the eggs in ice water so I can peel them sooner. Make sure that when you peel them, you rinse them off so no little pieces of shell get into your salad. Cut the eggs the same as the pickles, four quarters long ways, then thin slices short way. Now combine all the ingredients and fold together. Try not to smush the potatoes too much. Refrigerate until ready to eat.